Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
