using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
