Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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