Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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