R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize