Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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