I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
