bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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