i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
