you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
