Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
