ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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