you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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