can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
