I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
