I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
