The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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