If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
