I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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