when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
