I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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