I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
