I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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