ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
