I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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