yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
