So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize