my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
