How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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