haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
