Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize