I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
