Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kelther hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..

Fav 9 923 3417
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking

Fav 16 6483 1211
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

Fav 24 1359 5619
share tweet
(770): View more from Georgia

i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

Fav 27 7490 1739
share tweet
(715): View more from Wisconsin

She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.

Fav 2 1815 1171
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover

Fav 9 1490 740
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.

Fav 1 1000 817
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.

Fav 2 118 148
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!

Fav 0 54 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT