my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
