if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
