just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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