It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
