I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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