All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
