yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
