Dual....:-)
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
