i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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