walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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