I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
