Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
