hotel room ftw
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
