sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize