My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
