my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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