As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
