Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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