Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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