Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm at about main and main street
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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