He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize