I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
