can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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