The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
