don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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