YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
