if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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