i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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