first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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