I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
