well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
