I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
