I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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